I remember in my younger years someone described me as gay, I was left quite perplexed by this statement. Though it is true I am a homosexual, I don’t stand on Buckingham Palace and tell the whole of London that I like men. Yet I don’t particularly feel this is a characteristic of my personality, or is it?
This made me consider many aspects of my life; interactions with strangers, friends and family, the way I dress, body language, hobbies and interest. I became rather self-conscious, but I also was fascinated by these aspects which made people assume my sexuality. I then began to question why am I perceived to be a homosexual? What details determine one’s sexuality?
When I was a teenager, I realised I was attracted to the same sex and that was it. I was never vocal about it, nor did I engaged in the community, the culture, none of it. I actually isolated myself from events, societies and the broader groups that enrich the lives of those who identify as LGBTQ+. The isolation stemmed from the fact that I do not find any of these aspects of the community remotely interesting, nor do they represent and motivate me in any way. This withdrawal therefore has made me rather curious and has inspired me to discover the community I supposedly should be part of and ultimately feel I’ve missed out on?
It is extraordinary how the world has now embraced LGBTQ+ culture, where it feels it is expected of me to participate as a homosexual. Given my outsider status, I have chosen to expose myself with many aspects of the community in an intimate and revealing way, through photographic observation and self-portraiture, whilst critiquing and investigating the philosophy of this self-described “community”. All in the hope to understand the culture that society wants me to engage with, exploring its influence on the world and me. I am navigating this movement through the lens of the innocent and the ignorant - may it take me far and wide, as I try to figure out where I stand in all of this.